So here I am again, entering the world of written things in the form of a blog. Miss me? Didn't think so. My heart just needed to get a few things out there tonight. So here goes.
You know when you are right in the middle of a really great book, right before the best part, when you are sitting on the edge of your chair just waiting to see what's next? That's where I feel like my life is at the moment. The "right before" part. Not that my life is awesome book, maybe a good one though. At least I'd like to think so.
I'm turning 24 in two months..whew THAT snuck up on me. Where in the world did half of this year go already?!? All I can say about 24 is that I won't be sitting on the sidelines of my life like I have been..I've already started. Call it maturity, learning from past experiences, whatever, but things are going to be different. I feel as though God wants more for my life than I've been willing to open my eyes to. More than what I could see myself having, or daring to dream of. One slight thing I often forget about however, is that I am His child. I am a part of his inheritance. That's a big deal! He wants us, all of us, to live a life of abundance. Thinking of yourself less, yes, but knowing that we are worthy. It's even hard for me to write this, thinking that I'm being pompous and a greed. But it's the truth.
The real question that I've been asking myself about 24..is will I let Him change my outlook and continue that whole abundant life process? I sure hope so. 'Cause my version of my life is really quite suckish. With me leading the reigns for the past few years, it hasn't gone well. He wants more for our lives than we could possibly imagine. I don't understand it, but I will be thankful for it.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Keeping Tabs
I've learned a few things. Let me explain. I'm a control freak. Seriously. It's a problem. If I can't fix a situation/person/problem, I don't understand why and get incredibly frustrated.
I've been asking God, and myself so many questions. Why am I unable to fix my problems? Why can't I be financially stable right now? Why don't I have everything figured out? Why can't I tell where my life is supposed to be going? The answer is simple, but was hard for me to see at the time. No one can actually have control over what happens to them, even if we like to think so. As a Christian, I had someone that I could turn to when I was in doubt, and I think that I really gave that "option" a good try, but didn't truly let go.
Ok, I get it. This might be stupid easy for you or anyone else, but for me it was such a crazy easy concept that I just couldn't wrap my brain around. Suffice to say, I feel pretty freed in knowing that I can't keep tabs on everything.
My life is extremely flawed, and for the first time I feel ok with that. Worrying isn't going to be a normal past time if I can help it. The pressure is off. I'm just living my life now, taking in everything that I can and not putting so much stress on myself. It's nice.
Oh, also it's my birthday this week. 23. I feel really ok about this. Knowing what I do now, my attitude is all, 'bring it'! Here's to hoping I can actually truly give up my worries to God instead of hiding a few in the corners of my heart.
I've been asking God, and myself so many questions. Why am I unable to fix my problems? Why can't I be financially stable right now? Why don't I have everything figured out? Why can't I tell where my life is supposed to be going? The answer is simple, but was hard for me to see at the time. No one can actually have control over what happens to them, even if we like to think so. As a Christian, I had someone that I could turn to when I was in doubt, and I think that I really gave that "option" a good try, but didn't truly let go.
Ok, I get it. This might be stupid easy for you or anyone else, but for me it was such a crazy easy concept that I just couldn't wrap my brain around. Suffice to say, I feel pretty freed in knowing that I can't keep tabs on everything.
My life is extremely flawed, and for the first time I feel ok with that. Worrying isn't going to be a normal past time if I can help it. The pressure is off. I'm just living my life now, taking in everything that I can and not putting so much stress on myself. It's nice.
Oh, also it's my birthday this week. 23. I feel really ok about this. Knowing what I do now, my attitude is all, 'bring it'! Here's to hoping I can actually truly give up my worries to God instead of hiding a few in the corners of my heart.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Marketting
I just finished a hectic busy day at school. We worked on models for a fashion show today, and I'm incredibly tired. A bath is looking very close in my future...it's the best way for me to relax. Till then however I've been sitting here thinking about my school..classmates..art. I've noticed since being enrolled in cosmetology classes that I've been a lot more aware of how people view me; being critical of what I create, how I look, and how I come across as an individual.
In this business it's all about image and what you can bring to the table. You choose just how successful you are going to be. If you don't come across as a happy-go-lucky person to your clients, you won't have clients. Bottom line. The golden rule is to leave your problems at the door, and put a smile on that face with each new service. Normally, this is not an issue for me. I have it down pretty well actually.
However, there is a second golden rule thats not often mentioned. Stay positive. You can't be in this business if you are a serious downer.
Now, back to what I started writing this post about. A few weeks ago classmates and I were discussing what name you would have based on what you look like. Mine was Jane. IMMEDIATELY I think to myself, seriously? What do you think of when you think Jane? Plain Jane. Yuck.There are plenty other opinions of who people think I am at the school and honestly, I'm like that's not me. Get off my back fools. But really the fault is mine. Fear to express who you genuinely are and how you create is incredibly crippling. Not such a good idea for one who is in the creative business, eh? And why in the heck am I letting the opinions of others bother me anyway? What does it even matter?
Being that I have to create my entire career based on how I present myself across to people and what I can create, it's kind of a big deal that I get this tackled ASAP. Whatever my style is, is mostly what clients I'm going to attract. You literally wear what you can create. So instead of being lazy about it, I'm going to make a real effort to customize a look, market, and most importantly just be who I am.
In this business it's all about image and what you can bring to the table. You choose just how successful you are going to be. If you don't come across as a happy-go-lucky person to your clients, you won't have clients. Bottom line. The golden rule is to leave your problems at the door, and put a smile on that face with each new service. Normally, this is not an issue for me. I have it down pretty well actually.
However, there is a second golden rule thats not often mentioned. Stay positive. You can't be in this business if you are a serious downer.
Now, back to what I started writing this post about. A few weeks ago classmates and I were discussing what name you would have based on what you look like. Mine was Jane. IMMEDIATELY I think to myself, seriously? What do you think of when you think Jane? Plain Jane. Yuck.There are plenty other opinions of who people think I am at the school and honestly, I'm like that's not me. Get off my back fools. But really the fault is mine. Fear to express who you genuinely are and how you create is incredibly crippling. Not such a good idea for one who is in the creative business, eh? And why in the heck am I letting the opinions of others bother me anyway? What does it even matter?
Being that I have to create my entire career based on how I present myself across to people and what I can create, it's kind of a big deal that I get this tackled ASAP. Whatever my style is, is mostly what clients I'm going to attract. You literally wear what you can create. So instead of being lazy about it, I'm going to make a real effort to customize a look, market, and most importantly just be who I am.
Monday, February 11, 2013
brave
I believe that we are called to break up the norm.
What?
that's right, you heard me. That easy, comfortable living just has to go. I was thinking tonight about what my future might just look like and realizing that I believe that I was called to a life that is lived outside of what most would call the 'norm' or 'socially acceptable'. I'm a college drop-out, starting up beauty school soon, my hair has been every color of the rainbow and I consider a life traveling the world and living simply among all kinds of people something truly amazing. Listening to others stories, having tears brought to your eyes by seeing those who have had to be brave too many times. Appreciating the beauty of God's original art that is nature. Now that I've said all this I really feel like I'm a possible hippie in the making..haha.
But beyond all of this for me personally, we are all called to an unconventional life in a way. If you are a Christian, Jesus never said 'ok, so here's the plan. I want you to go out and get a 9-5 job, get married, have 3 kids and head to church every sunday. Yup that should be about it, have fun! See you at the end.' No. He called us to love himself with everything in us, and secondly to love his people. That may not mean the same journey to you that it means for me, but it DOES mean that we need to get out of our routines. Spending more time with God than what you think you can fit into your busy schedule. Being a servant to your coworkers or boss. Loving on those people that irritate the crap out of you. You don't have to be a missionary in Zimbabwe, but if you profess having a relationship with Christ than you do have to get a little crazy, possibly radical to some people. It's what we're called to do. If you don't look out of place you're probably not doing it right.
Think about it. Then try some reevaluating. I am.
I guess what I'm saying is don't get caught up in the 'american dream'. There's much more to it than that. None of us are going to be perfect at it, but then that's where Jesus comes in.
What?
that's right, you heard me. That easy, comfortable living just has to go. I was thinking tonight about what my future might just look like and realizing that I believe that I was called to a life that is lived outside of what most would call the 'norm' or 'socially acceptable'. I'm a college drop-out, starting up beauty school soon, my hair has been every color of the rainbow and I consider a life traveling the world and living simply among all kinds of people something truly amazing. Listening to others stories, having tears brought to your eyes by seeing those who have had to be brave too many times. Appreciating the beauty of God's original art that is nature. Now that I've said all this I really feel like I'm a possible hippie in the making..haha.
But beyond all of this for me personally, we are all called to an unconventional life in a way. If you are a Christian, Jesus never said 'ok, so here's the plan. I want you to go out and get a 9-5 job, get married, have 3 kids and head to church every sunday. Yup that should be about it, have fun! See you at the end.' No. He called us to love himself with everything in us, and secondly to love his people. That may not mean the same journey to you that it means for me, but it DOES mean that we need to get out of our routines. Spending more time with God than what you think you can fit into your busy schedule. Being a servant to your coworkers or boss. Loving on those people that irritate the crap out of you. You don't have to be a missionary in Zimbabwe, but if you profess having a relationship with Christ than you do have to get a little crazy, possibly radical to some people. It's what we're called to do. If you don't look out of place you're probably not doing it right.
Think about it. Then try some reevaluating. I am.
I guess what I'm saying is don't get caught up in the 'american dream'. There's much more to it than that. None of us are going to be perfect at it, but then that's where Jesus comes in.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
12:01am shpeal
I really should be in bed right now..and yet here I am writing instead.
It's christmas eve day, such a great time of year! My favorite part is just being with my whole family. I love them quite a bit.
This year is a little different..I feel a bit stretched thin, tired, worn out. January never looked so good. But in the midst of this something has made me stop & reflect. In a sense I'm kind of enjoying all the craziness. When we lived in Bolivia I don't think there was a time where things were really ever easy, or my family wasn't doing something for someone else. Always working, always giving. But then, that's just my parents, the way they are. They've ingrained this idea in my head from day 1 & it feels right & good & should be done all the time. I think the qualities your family install into your very being are so important. I'm grateful for how I was raised...my parents aren't perfect, but they're my family. They've taught me so much; added to the person I am today.
Living in a place where you don't necessarily have everything you want or even need can be so good for the soul. It's hard to be that way here in the U.S where everything seems to be available in our comfortable lives. But when you are poorer than your neighbor, you realize just how important it is to give. You DON'T need that iphone. Or expensive laptop. There's nothing wrong with those things...it just makes you think.
With the new year rolling in I want to live a little bit simpler. Give a whole lot more, investing in the lives of those people I call friends & family. Be a little bit more grateful for what I have. Ask God for a little more wisdom. I also want to take the train to place I've never been, but that's the usual ;)
It's christmas eve day, such a great time of year! My favorite part is just being with my whole family. I love them quite a bit.
This year is a little different..I feel a bit stretched thin, tired, worn out. January never looked so good. But in the midst of this something has made me stop & reflect. In a sense I'm kind of enjoying all the craziness. When we lived in Bolivia I don't think there was a time where things were really ever easy, or my family wasn't doing something for someone else. Always working, always giving. But then, that's just my parents, the way they are. They've ingrained this idea in my head from day 1 & it feels right & good & should be done all the time. I think the qualities your family install into your very being are so important. I'm grateful for how I was raised...my parents aren't perfect, but they're my family. They've taught me so much; added to the person I am today.
Living in a place where you don't necessarily have everything you want or even need can be so good for the soul. It's hard to be that way here in the U.S where everything seems to be available in our comfortable lives. But when you are poorer than your neighbor, you realize just how important it is to give. You DON'T need that iphone. Or expensive laptop. There's nothing wrong with those things...it just makes you think.
With the new year rolling in I want to live a little bit simpler. Give a whole lot more, investing in the lives of those people I call friends & family. Be a little bit more grateful for what I have. Ask God for a little more wisdom. I also want to take the train to place I've never been, but that's the usual ;)
Monday, November 19, 2012
Violet's are Blue
So,
I'm moving back home.
YUP.
Now, this may not seem like a big deal..I'm in my 20s, still going to school, it's pretty normal right? To anyone else it is, however to me, personally; it's a story that's been untold.
I feel a little bit like a failure. I let myself down in a way, I was supposed to pay off loans this year, save up some money. I had an opportunity open up to work in a salon which ended up not being the opportunity that I was promised. It ended up costing me money that I didn't have, & in return not making enough to even pay my own bills. I had a chance to take a photography job at the beginning of the year, which would have payed me to travel all over the world to take pictures. Instead, I chose to get experience in a salon to further my career. I said goodbye to a lot of close friends this year, & ended up staying in Lynchburg when it has been one of my greatest desires to leave. So, I guess you can say this year has been a bit challenging.
I've been dwelling on this for a while now & trying not to be down & blue...really just questioning all of my decisions that I've made. Was all of this really the right choice? Am I where I'm supposed to be? Where am I going?
In all of this, I come back to one solid answer; I have been selfish. It's true. If I had taken that job and not been in Lynchburg all year, I would have missed out on getting to serve at my church & meet some amazing people. I would have missed out on being there for a huge moment in my friends' life, & I would have deeply regretted that. I have gained so much salon knowledge, & good customer service? I can do that in my sleep. I was able to get my puppy Aria who drives me absolutely crazy! But I love her to pieces & wouldn't trade her for anything.
God & I have been up and down this year, but are finishing strong. Serving has been such a big part of our relationship lately & it's a good thing because it's what I need to be doing especially right now to get my mind off of my own issues. I've been praying especially lately asking Him what I need to be doing this next year; do I keep going with cosmetology or go full force into my art? My answer for now is pretty loud & clear, SERVE.
And so that, ladies & gents, is just what I'm going to do.
I'm moving back home.
YUP.
Now, this may not seem like a big deal..I'm in my 20s, still going to school, it's pretty normal right? To anyone else it is, however to me, personally; it's a story that's been untold.
I feel a little bit like a failure. I let myself down in a way, I was supposed to pay off loans this year, save up some money. I had an opportunity open up to work in a salon which ended up not being the opportunity that I was promised. It ended up costing me money that I didn't have, & in return not making enough to even pay my own bills. I had a chance to take a photography job at the beginning of the year, which would have payed me to travel all over the world to take pictures. Instead, I chose to get experience in a salon to further my career. I said goodbye to a lot of close friends this year, & ended up staying in Lynchburg when it has been one of my greatest desires to leave. So, I guess you can say this year has been a bit challenging.
I've been dwelling on this for a while now & trying not to be down & blue...really just questioning all of my decisions that I've made. Was all of this really the right choice? Am I where I'm supposed to be? Where am I going?
In all of this, I come back to one solid answer; I have been selfish. It's true. If I had taken that job and not been in Lynchburg all year, I would have missed out on getting to serve at my church & meet some amazing people. I would have missed out on being there for a huge moment in my friends' life, & I would have deeply regretted that. I have gained so much salon knowledge, & good customer service? I can do that in my sleep. I was able to get my puppy Aria who drives me absolutely crazy! But I love her to pieces & wouldn't trade her for anything.
God & I have been up and down this year, but are finishing strong. Serving has been such a big part of our relationship lately & it's a good thing because it's what I need to be doing especially right now to get my mind off of my own issues. I've been praying especially lately asking Him what I need to be doing this next year; do I keep going with cosmetology or go full force into my art? My answer for now is pretty loud & clear, SERVE.
And so that, ladies & gents, is just what I'm going to do.
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